Coming Clean

Over the summer my friend Jen and I trained for the Chicago half marathon. When my husband was out of town for work, her husband watched all of our kids so we could get our running in. On one particular day when he was watching my kids, Cameron needed a change of clothes. If Cameron is too hot, she can't focus, relax, or have fun. I think she would even wear sandals in snow if I would let her.

Jen and I took her bikes and rode them to my house to get some new clothes for her to wear so that we could complete our training for the day without Cameron throwing a fit for her generous babysitter. This meant I was having unexpected company...to my house...without cleaning up from the morning rush.

The whole way there I thought, I hope she just waits outside and lets me run inside the house and get Cam's clothes. Did I clean up the dirty clothes out of the bathroom? Did the kids at least put their breakfast dishes in the sink? I hope she doesn't notice all the dog hair on the living room rug.

Finally we made it to my house. We parked our bikes. I opened the back door and my fear became reality when she followed me inside. The kitchen was worse than I remembered, you could make a sweater out of the dog hair found on the living room rug, and the girls' underwear and dirty clothes were not just in the bathroom but in the hall as well. Our bedroom doors were cracked open and inside you could see that the beds were unmade and shoes and wet towels were covering the floor. I made some weak apology about the house being a mess.

My friend was gracious and said she totally didn't care. Although I believed her, I still tested her. I actually opened up my messiest closet in the house and showed it to her. Then I said, "Wow! That felt good, and I feel so much closer to you!" She busted out laughing and said, "Now I don't have to worry about you seeing my house this way!" This simple act was a freeing experience. I showed someone my messy, unclean house and they accepted it (and me) in the same regards they always did. In fact, I assume that it was a relief for Jen as well. No more "pretend clean" houses on our play dates and/or training for our runs, no more pretending like we had it all together.

Do you have a friend that you could do that with? Someone you don't feel like you have to impress and lets you be who you are? I have made some great friends through the years at Faith Church MOPS, but not every year I attended did I make a good friend. In retrospect, maybe I wasn't allowing people to see those messy parts of my life. However, to those I did open up to became life long friends. I challenge you to be vulnerable, and take a chance. What do you have to lose? If someone can't handle the messy parts of you, then you don't want them as a friend anyway.

In closing, I will have plenty of years later to have a immaculately clean house. Although it can drive me crazy sometimes like when I lose my shoes or worse yet when my husband loses his keys, it is clear that my priorities are currently with other things. Spending time with my husband when he is home, playing games with my kids, hanging out with my friends, and creating fun art projects for work. Those priorities won't take precedent to a clean house ever.

Regardless, I am still relieved that nothing fell on Jen's head after I opened that messy closet door.